The Shear Goodness of it All

I am amazed by the goodness I've found in this experience.
Stefan driving my mother from the airport to the hotel. He came from Munich to do this. Thank you, Stefan. It's not everyone who will do something for someone so vaguely connected to one. My mother spoke of you with gratitude for this. It must have been a very hard day in her life, flying to a strange country to see a freshly maimed child. I just told her Stefan had posted a reply and she smiled and spoke of something she wanted to send him.
Karine--whose goodness was never in doubt, since her trip to New Orleans post Katrina--organizing the art auction and being the tribe nexus for donations. I am sitting at the computer that her money, and the money she raised, helped to pay for. And everyone who contributed art or who bid on a piece, thank you,thank you, thank you. Le Chat, you better treat her right, her fans will have something to say to you if you don't. But the issue isn't in doubt, I know your furry heart and your love for her.
All those people who sent cards. I've got pounds of them. Somehow I haveto make them into a scrapbook. Something to hold as a solid reminder that all of you cared enough to say something, to send something.
I was sent books, video tapes, dvds. The vcr tapes I left in Austria--I didn't want to run into compatability problems. but there are no imcompatability problems with the hearts and hands that selected them and put them into the mail.
The nurses, the pts, the ots. I was the total pet on the floor in John Muir Medical. The English speaking members of the doctors' entourages in TILAK who gave me brief synopses of the long German conversations.

And I don't even know that I deserve this. I've tried to be honest. On the boards I'd be kind to the people who seemed to need it and I've been mean and rude to the people who seemed to be giving us that sort of energy simply to inflate their egos or whatever their twisted--oh poof! I don't want to talk abou that in a post about goodness. But it does make the goodness look better.

So much kindness in the world, in people.

So many hugs I wish to give, to people I don't even know, as well as those I've met, but are not close.

I wish I could throw you a party. Idon't know what to say. I may never know what to say.

I can say this, you, all of you, were bright lights in a very dark night for me and for my family and friends.

You're Stars, People!!!

Some Days are Just Bad

Woke up cranky.

Almost certainly just a cyclical thing.
Ican't be optomistic and daring all the time.
Even my phantom limbs seem to hurt.
Too much family and caretaker drama. Its very scary to be dependant on people who are having dramas.
I can't even go to a movie or a cafe and get away from it.

Sometimes I feel trapped. Can't take a nap on the couch. Can't go beyond certain places in the house.

I did see the doctor yesterday and he did say I could take showers. Now all I have to do is get the handheld installed and the shower chair bought.

Anyone wanna take me to Johnson Medical supply on Monday?

2 More Tunneling Wounds!

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Yesterday I got my long handled mirror. (They are used for paras and other wheelies to look at thier backs to see how thier skin is doing.)
I used it for the first time today.ThOh crap, I found two more of the tunneling wounds.
I haven't talked about these wounds, but they are a drama in of themselves. the first one (also known as "The Wound") was a little hole in my high right shank/butt area with a little "antichamber" from which branched off two tunnels, one an inch long, the other four! In the hospital, it was getting irrigated twice a day with saline, packed with special guaze, covered with zeraform (a special yellow gauze impregnated with vasoline and possibly s9ome sort of bacteria killer), and wrapped up twice daily. In fact, this wound was the reason that my right leg hasn't been prepped for a prothesis yet.

Last week, afterleaving thehospital, I discovered (by feell) a 2nd one, more towards my groin, but still in the seam (if that is the correct term) between my old skin and the graft recipiant site. This one was only a centemeter long. We havent had a syringe, but it's been packeda nd included in the wrapping. (Well, the wrapping's around thw whole thigh, or what's left of it.)
Lookked at the back of my right leg 1/2 hour ago. Two more wounds, both in a sort of a channel (it lookes almost like a butt crack!) in the center of the graft site. HIdden by the edema of the leg.

The good news is that one in one centimeter long, the other half that. But I don't know why Ikeep getting these. With the first one, there was a lot of talk of infection. There was staph in that wound. And it was puss-y (filled with puss, instead of being a cat or slang for a woman's box), at least until the irrigation washed it out. But the others are dry. Maybe because I found them before they became too long.
Am I going to be prone my entire life? Is it something that is associated with the graft? I just hope that there wasn't some sort of infectin that they were tunnelling towards.
btw The original Wound is pretty much healed now, Scabbed over even. I hope the three that are left close up soon.